Annotation Summary for 84718E1D-EF1F-4224-92F6-3E0042FCB42B:
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the most important part of the story because it makesk the voice sound very controlling,
createing a controlling tone shows the theme that girls are taught to live by strict rules and
woman in this society is all about following strict rules. First, “this is how” repeats over and
over, the overwhelming tone makes reader feels heavy and nonstop and feels the same
pressure how daughter being lectured, like the mother is giving orders instead of normal
advice. It also shows the theme of fitting in because the mother wants her daughter to
follow society
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your thesis should be one sentence. also, you have a lot of grammatical issues. i think you
should meet with someone at the campus writing center for weekly tutoring sessions. a lot
of the grammatical issues that you have are not ones that we will address in class
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The mother talk like she is giving rules instead normal talk.
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you need a topic sentence that makes a claim about your chosen word or phrase
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how you sweep a corner,” and she says, “this is how you sweep a whole house” . And it is
not only about cleaning. It shows the mother wants the girl to learn rules step by step, like
training. The same thing happens when she explains smiling to different people. That
makes life everyday feel like acting, because you have to look your best depending on who
is watching, and girl rarely talk up,
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i think a big issue is that a lot of this reads as summary. you spend a large portion of your
paragraph repeating the things that happen in the story. you want to avoid that.
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me feel the bread?” It is matter, although it sounds small. It shows the girl feels undure,
because even simple things can become a test. She is doing her best to follow the rules,
but she is still need to nervous that she might mess up and be judged.
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you aren’t making a ton of strong claims about why the phrase is the most important for the
specifics of this story. you need to develop those claims to make this essay successful.
also, again, i highly recommend working with someone at the writing center for the
grammatical issues.

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